Friday, October 26, 2007

Momma's being momma's

I can not understand why a lot parents, especially mommas don't have more instinct than they do. ( this is personal, not knocking anyone) I have a niece that has 2 beautiful boys and I wish she would grow up and be a momma. She is more worried about this man that don't give anything to their relationship and her drugs. Maw maw does most of the care for the boys and I help maw maw out by babysitting. Sam has got her a job (again), but when she gets off, she is off till way after bed time. And you can't find her on the week ends. I'm glad she don't take them off with her, but this will come back and bite her one day. I took the youngest to the health Department this morning only to find out that he was way behind on his shots. He just turned 1 in September and his last shots were done March of this year. So, the poor fellow had to have 6 shots and will get 6 more in 6 months to get get him caught up. She had been telling maw maw and me that he had all his shots. I love her don't get me wrong, but she has drained the life out of maw maw and me.
She isn't the only one I know that has babies and don't take care of them! AAARRRHHH! I just wanna shake these women and ask them what the "HELL" is their problem. I don't mind helping and babysitting, but these little darlings need their momma. In my point of view, if she or others not wanting to be a momma need to leave the scene and quit playing games with these babies.
I protected Sam one more time yesterday, but the Health Department still made a check mark. I told maw maw this and she asked me why didn't I tell them the truth, that she was lazy and unfit. I just told her I didn't feel it was my place. I wanted to, but them maw maw would have held it over my head. If & when she has had enough of Sam's grap I feel she will put a end to it. But Sam is my niece by marriage and maw maw raised her. I know she probably wishes Sam would straighten her tail up or leave or someone would report her. One of the options would give us all a lot of relief, but I personally don't need maw maw mad at me for something that she can do her self, but if everyone keeps looking away the Health Department will do something.


Holly said...

It's a tough line you have to walk, trying to stay in the kids life to provide your support, but knowing when neglect crosses to abuse. You have my symphathy. ((Hugs))

dawn said...

That is a tough situation to be in. I am fortunate to not have to face those issues in my family. I have some cousins who are not really fit to be parents but not to the point of neglect or abuse, they are just idiots and the kids will be idiots too. I have a friend who has foster kids, most of them permanent. That is who my younger girls work for babysitting a 3 year old foster kid. He has had a really rough life, and is better off where he is, but it is a crime that it has to be that way. I have such a hard time with the idiots of this world having children and not being able to or not having the brains to care for them and wanting to keep them so they can collect their welfare check. There are so many people wanting to adopt who would be awesome parents, and their hands are tied, at the rights of the 'parents'. Okay I won't say more, this is your rant not mine.

Lil Mouse (Jill) said...

those kind of things drive me nuts. i would worry about the day to day stuff of raising kids, but i would NEVER let them get behind on their health care - even if i had to go to the free clinic and beg. how awful. my prayers are with you that this will righten itself soon.

Wendy Hawksley said...

I'm not sure what it is with some moms... My sister had her first children at 20 and 21, and didn't have time to be a "kid" herself.

I think this had a profound influence on the fact that her mothering instinct is just about nil.

Meanwhile, I was married 10 years before my son was born. I had time to party, work, and enjoy adult life in general.

When I gave birth to my son at 28, I felt very fulfilled and the timing was "perfect".

So perhaps age and life experience has something to do with it...? Young adulthood can never be gotten back once motherhood enters into the picture, and it is really a profound loss.

I just do my best to help my sister by babysitting her 4 children and giving her opportunities for "happy hour with the girls after work". It is all I can do for her.

Rachel said...

That is so hard. I feel for you and those poor kids. I have a friend going through something similar with her sister's kids. Stay strong, mama, and trust your instincts.