Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Bullies

Definition: bully -A person who is habitually cruel or overbearing, especially to smaller or weaker people.

My son JB has had his 1st encounter with a bully at school. Dan and I have known about it because he tells us almost everything. Well, I told JB he needed to go to his coach or principal about this or I would. Dan said, no! He said, for JB to wait till he had enough then let the boy have it then we would go from there. I didn't agree, but stayed back. Well, Friday this little boy pushed JB's wrong button and JB swung on him. When JB tapped him on the head, then the boy started to leave, but JB knew in his heart that he needed to get his point across. He grabbed the boy's backpack when he tried to leave and hit him a few more times. When he let go the boy walked out, but came back in swinging. JB and this little boy passed a few more licks then separated. ABout the time the boy left out of the locker room, the coach walked in, and then JB ran home. When he got home he told me all about it. I didn't get onto him, but told him that when or if he got a paddling Monday to have the coach call me. I knew JB hit 1st and I know what he done was wrong, but I wanted to make sure the other boy got punished also. I waited by the phone all day Monday, but never got a call. When JB got home he told me that the whole football team had to do a lot of push ups and then coach called him and the other boy off to the side to talk. The coach asked JB 1st what had happen and JB told him the whole truth. JB said that he told the coach that I had gave him permission to tell most of what the boy said, then processed to tell what had happened to lead up to the fight. After JB was done telling his side of the story the coach ask the other boy. The other boy just said that JB has been trying to start a fight with him since he started school, but wouldn’t give a reason. This did not satisfy the coach because he couldn’t give a reason for JB wanting to fight him, but JB had gave him the reason of why he had wanted to. After the coach raising his voice a few times asking the boy, why, the boy broke and said JB was telling the truth. Coach told the boys that the reason he had made them all do a lot of push ups was because the other boys knew that this bullying was going on and didn’t report it. He told JB to come tell him next time and let him handle it and made the boy go to the next locker room. So, I guess in a way that Dan knew what he was talking about. Get the boy’s attention and let him know that he wasn’t going to let him push him around and he wasn’t tattle tale. I’m glad all this is over and hopefully there will be no more bullying. Dan and I told JB that he better not go around thinking fighting was the answer, but we felt he handle this correctly and was pleased on how the coach handled it also.

10 comments:

Wendy Hawksley said...

I'm glad the coach handled everything in what seems to be a very fair manner. How adults deal with bullying is so important.

It is also good that JB wasn't going to take it. Too bad he threw the 1st punch... I agree with you there. My dad also told me it was OK to hit back, but not to hit first. I have the same philosophy as him.

I am happy for JB that he stood up for himself and told the truth. You and your husband have certainly done a wonderful job rearing your children!

Junebug said...

Yea for the coach.

Gail said...

Wow! Sounds like it turned out okay, and some good lessons were learned all the way around. It also sounds like the coach has dealt with this sort of thing before -- I sure haven't, and am glad I don't have to.

hollysjoy said...

I'm glad it all seemed to work out. It sounds like he has a really coach.

I hope it is the end of the matter. Hugs.

karisma said...

While I do not condone violence I do see why this had to happen. A bully is generally a big coward and unfortunately a lot of the time the bullies get it from their parents so sometimes you have to stand back and let the kids sort it out. Especially with boys. If you had of stepped in he would have lost face and more than one bully would have started in on him. At least now they will know he won't take it!

Hopefully the other kid has learned a valuable lesson and does not make this bullying a habit! I can only feel sorry for kids that feel the need to be horrible! What kind of home life must they have?

Pamela said...

do you wonder if the boy gets bullied at home, and that is where he learned it.

I wonder what would happen if JB approached him and invited him home --- and he could see how "real" men treat each other

just wondering.

kitten said...

Josh did try to befriend this little dude, but it just made it worse. It all boiled down to JB being the new kid and not only new to the school, but a home school kid.

Jettie said...

I hate the bullying that goes on and soo glad the coach handled it seems in a very good way!! I don't like that kids turn a blind eye to it!! I have seen teachers look the other way too!!
There was a kid last year bulling my son and It took several times of me going in to get it to stop!!! the teacher told me it is better if we just leave it alone and let it go away on it's own!!!!!!!!! I was pe...od at that!!!!! So We went into the priciple and that day when school got out the Principple had went out to watch to see if anything was gonna happen..And sure enough it did!!! Once again this boy pushed our boy knocked him down and than stood there laughing at him!!!!!!!!!!!! I was so glad that the Priciple took the time to care and put a stop to it!! And So glad he spoke to the teacher afterward and let her know she was in the wrong!!!
I hope it is better for him!!
It just tears me up to see and know kids are being picked on!!

storyteller said...

It sounds like the coach is on top of this situation and that’s a good thing for all concerned. Dealing with ‘bullies’ is never easy for anyone!
Hugs and blessings,

dawn said...

It sounds like the coach handled it really well. I think that it is too bad when it comes to it, but sometimes the bullied needs to stand up and let the bully know he won't take it. T gave a kids a bloody nose when he was 5 (at church teehee) because the kid wouldn't stop pushing him and taunting him. We taught our kids violence isn't the way, but when there is no choice, to go with it, and live with the consequences.