Thursday, March 05, 2009

I was reading over at Ami's and she mentioned something about writing about Bullies. This sparked my attention. I decided to write about a bully that I know, mainly one person in particular. This person has been in my life a long time and I was able to get a small victory over this bully at Christmas with Ami's help. Ami didn't even know that she even did this. Thanks Ami Mental! I just LOVE you girl!

There is this person that has been a thorn in my side for years! She is the type of Bully that Lacks empathy for others, has low degree of anxiety about consequences or just immoral. This person appears to have a high self-esteem but I have noticed over the years that she really doesn't. She has difficulty restraining herself from her behavior and is very manipulative. She is the type of woman that preys on married men and will do anything in her power to destroy the marriage. Not only is she famous for destroying families, but she is one that will get somebody in a conversation and talk about someone, then go tell that other person that the person she was talking to said all the awful things about them. Nine out of ten times the other person doesn't even have to say a word. The list could keep on going!

About eleven years ago this women slipped her slimy self into my life and just about drove me insane. I told this women and my husband they could do whatever they wanted, but they were not getting my kids or other things that I had worked so hard for. I gave her one hell of a fight. After about a year he came back home and she was determined to cause me more hell because I had what she couldn't have. She got to the point of stocking me. When I noticed, she was following me everywhere I went I told all the store managers and clerks to keep an eye out for her. I awaited the appropriate amount of time for stalking then pressed charges against her. Her daddy had my husband all upset because he threatened that we would lose everything if I preceded the charges. The day of court, I decided to retire the charges. (Retiring the charges means that if I or anyone else presses charges of stalking toward her anywhere down the line, the old charges will be brought back up and she will have two charges of stalking toward her and there is nothing anyone can do about it.) The reason I decided to retire the charges is because her daddy had money to fight us and we didn't have the money to fight back. As this women and I stood in front of the judge and he asked me if I really wanted to retire the charges, I told him no, but I didn't have no other choice. When he asked me to explain this woman interrupted and told the judge that she was going to Georgia and I wouldn't have anything to worry about. Then I blurted out that her going to Georgia had never stopped her before from bothering me so, her going to Georgia didn't mean a hill of beans. The judge asked me again if I wanted to retire these charges to the file and I told him yes because if she ever did it, again it would be nothing her daddy could do to help! So, for about four or five years I never heard a peep out of this woman. I was Free! So, I thought I was.

About four or five years later, I got a phone call from my husband's mother just before we left to come to the family reunion. She told me that my husband's oldest brother had decided to live with this woman from hell. My husband's mom also told me that the oldest son had told her that if the woman from hell couldn't come to the family reunion and other family gatherings they couldn't see his kids, so they dropped the ball in my lap if the woman could be a part of the family. I tried to be the bigger person and said she could as long as didn't cause me any problems. All that did was open the door for the woman from hell to start stuff then hide behind someone and make it look like my fault. I let this woman drive me up the wall with her bulling for years because I didn't want to cause any problems in the family. Last February when I almost lost my mom, I decided I had enough of this women and I was no longer going to let her rule my world. I prayed for months and was finally able to forgive her and let all this bitterness go. This woman was tormenting me even when she wasn't doing anything. I got to noticing that for some reason that I had to deal with this woman less than normal and it was nice. She didn't come to some of the family gatherings like those that she had always did in the past and when she did, she didn't try and make me look bad in front of everyone like she normally would. This past Christmas my husband's mom told everyone that, we wouldn't exchange gifts or for us not to get her anything because so many in the family had been laid off through the year. His mom just wanted to have the family at her house Christmas Eve and at her mom's Christmas day as we do every year.

Well, every Christmas the woman from hell always tries to outdo everybody when it comes to buying a gift for my husband's mom if she has the money or not. I have never let this bother me because she is the one that has to be center of attention not me. Okay, back to this Christmas. Just a few days before Christmas my dear friend Ami sends me a package in the mail full of crafts. KB and I decided to make stuff for everybody for Christmas since Ami had provided the perfect things to do so. I took pictures of the kids, cut the pictures to clue onto dollies, and then put a magnet on it. We also made snowflake magnets and little reindeer ornaments for everyone in each family. When we got to my husband's mom's house KB and I put the magnets on the frig and showed mom the reindeer. She was tickled pink! After we ate, mom gave all the little ones a gift card for Christmas then the woman from hell brought a gift for mom. Mom looked up and said, I thought I told everyone not to buy gifts I would rather have what Katie and the kids gave me because it came from the heart! I didn't say a word, but I wanted to take a glory moment! You could see the woman from hell want to just slide out of her chair. The next day when we was at Maw's and it was time to give gifts, the woman from hell had to sit close to Maw for everyone could see what she had got for Maw. I stayed back in the kitchen like always to stay out of the way. When maw finished opening her gifts, she walked back into the kitchen where she noticed the magnets KB and I made for her. Maw spoke up and said, now that is the best gift I have got today. I couldn't help but look toward the woman from hell and she had turned slightly red. You could tell it pissed her off. I wanted to take another glory moment, but I was a good girl! Not long after that, the woman from hell tried to cut me down and Maw cut her off quick, so the woman from hell left.

So, thanks to Ami I had a wonderful Christmas and was able to get one over on the woman from hell even when I wasn't trying!

Hugs to all!

I'm planning to write another post about other bullies later.



Ami said...

I am really glad you are more able to stand up for yourself than you used to be. It's so very hard for people to get there... and so many people never do.

GOOD for you. I hope that you see less and less of the bitch (can I call her that here?) from hell and that you continue to build your own inner strength.


Anonymous said...

Good for you Kitten! You have enough on your plate without that woman around. I'm so glad you got soome much deserved recognition.

ChrisB said...

Well done and it must have been lovely to see *the bully* discomforted. Home made presents are always going to mean so much to the recipient as they are made with love.

Pamela said...

I'm just agog that she got her hooks into a second brother. What is wrong with those men. huff!

I know that wasn't the subject of your post. But I couldn't get past it.

MOM #1 said...

You go, girl. You can take a glory moment right here on your blog. Karma to the Lady From Hell.

A Spot of T said...

I'm with Pamela...huffing at the men she gets her hooks into. I'm so glad your husband's mom saw what was really important AND told the hag. Here's to many more moments like that for you!

Jettie said... iam wonering is that my sister?