Saturday, January 07, 2012

Sorry I haven't been around since....

I lost momma 1/11/10. I have been keeping myself really busy. To the point of over load! My older brother, Mike, got busted for a meth lab 2 weeks after our mother past. I spent almost all my time and energy trying to help him and his wife. I couldn't even grieve over momma because I was so focused on Mike. In March when momma's money came in, Mike's wife, started trying to put a wedge between Mike and I. Well, when the money was gone and Mike was gone to the pen she put the ultimate wedge between us. He went to the pen in June 2010 and was home by that Dec. I have seen him twice since June 2010. I'm the only one in the family not allowed to talk to him.
Feb. 2011 my great nephew was diagnosed with cancer the day before his 2nd birthday. I started helping my niece out with her other 2 kids. Through the summer I help keep Fisher and his 2 brothers, plus I got where I was keeping other great nieces and nephews to help my family out. (My great nephew is cancer free and doing really well.) When school started I thought my life would slow, but NAW, no such luck!
Let me back up to the day before Mother's Day 2011. My middle child lost his virginity. About 6 weeks after that I got a phone call saying that the little girl was pregnant. So, in the middle of keeping all these kids we was dealing with that and helping the girl all we could. After the little girl found out she was having a girl she has started cutting us out of the picture. Well, to make a really long story short because I would have a book if I wrote it all out. LOL! Okay, back on track. I have a lawyer and have called DNA people and in less than 3 weeks I may or may not be grand maw.
In the middle of all that my brother in law's (Dan's brother!)girlfriend called DHS on me and my nieces ex sister in law also called them on me to get to my niece. Yes, DHS got 2 phone calls on me in 1 day. The list was a mile long. I did fail the day came. Why? Well, I spent 3 or more days trying to help my brother in law and his girlfriend out that I didn't touch my house in a few days and when she got to my house there was popcorn all in the floor because I had 4 or 5 kids. LOL! The big topper was that Dan had a deer head on the front porch. Since he has got down in his back he can't do as much in day and after pulling that deer out of the woods he couldn't do much else. He was gonna take it off when he left the next day, but he forgot because he was hurting so bad. Now, it has been 3 mths and DHS has not come back by. That drives me nuts! Cause I feel I should be up cleaning from the time I get up till the time I go to bed.
Now, all that has got me where I am today. A couple weeks ago I cried my eyes out over missing momma and Mike. (Remember, I lost 2 precious people in 2011) After my crying spell I realized I was headed for crash and burn. After some long soul searching I am now learning to take a few mins a day and working on moving up from there.
Life is to short! We can either let others define us or we define our self. I was letting others define me and it was tearing me up in side and showing really loud on the outside. I have decided to stop letting others define me and over look every body's BS and sit back and enjoy letting the Lord take care of my problems. Now, I'm not perfect so I'm only letting go a little at a time. I know I need to let it all go, but at least I'm on the right track.
Peace, Love & Happiness to all!


SabrinaT said...


Keep your head up, and you know what we have all had popcorn in the sofa kind of days!!!

kitten said...


karisma said...

My goodness! And here I was thinking I had a rough year. Big hugs to you beautiful lady. I hope things are much much smoother for you this year. xoxox

MOM #1 said...

Oh, Kitten. It seems like so much has been happening. I'm glad you've decided to put yourself first in your life and try to get some more enjoyment out of it.


Pamela said...

I can relate to having a very difficult 2011.

Am truly sorry to know that this has been happening.